The Sunbury Dilemma

by Richard Pettifer

Short Film*
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"Two men prepare to rob a Commonwealth Bank in Sunbury, Victoria, but the tension of the moment forces them to confess truths to each other".








                                                THE SUNBURY DILEMMA
                                                              BY 
                                                         Pettifer















THE SUNBURY DILEMMA


Notes:
1) The characters both speak with a strange semi-Italian rhythm that emphasizes certain words. This is for the individual actor/director to decide.
2) The word ‘fuck’ and its variations is used as
a. An exclamation
b. A pause while the right alternate word is found (as one might use ‘um’)
c. An imploring cover for saying something that might expose vulnerability in the persona of the character.
3) Occasionally the speech is written in a manner that is phonetic. Occasionally an attempt has been made to represent the rhythm of speech of the character through misplaced punctuation.

FADE IN:

INT. CAR - AFTERNOON

Two men sit in the front seat of a beat-up Falcon. They both have mullets and wear wifebeaters. DERRYN is unshaven. DICKO is slightly shorter, and looks like a bad copy of DERRYN. He could be his younger brother.

They look out the front windscreen.

Derryn speaks as if they were mid-conversation.

DERRYN
To Kill a Mockingbird.



What?

DICKO


DERRYN
I said, To Kill a Fucking Mockingbird.



Huh?

DICKO


DERRYN
What are you? A Fucken idiot?! I said To Kill a Fucking Mockingbird.



Nah, don't know it.

DICKO




Harper Lee.

DERRYN




What?

DICKO


Pause.



DERRYN
You're a fucken idiot.

DICKO
Well what the fuck do I know about a Harp fucken Lee. What the fuck is that anyway? Fark.

DERRYN
Maybe if you'd paid more attention in school you wouldn't be… fuck… you wouldn't be a fucken dipshit.



Faaaaark.

DICKO


Pause. They continue to look out. Something catches their attention.

DERRYN
Hey Dicko, get a look at this.



Je-sus.

DICKO


They watch the woman walk across their vision.

DERRYN
(watching the woman)
I would fucking hit that so hard. I would, fuck, I would destroy that bitch so fucking hard. I would bend her over and she would not even have a clue what hit her.




Fark.

DICKO
(imagining this)


DERRYN
(elaborately demonstrating) I'd fucking hold her mouth, like this right, so she can't scream, and fucking just shove it in her arse.



Fark!

DICKO


DERRYN
I'd fucking tie that bitch to a stake and grab her titties and just bang her til she screams. (poorly mimics a woman orgasming)



Fark.

DICKO




Fark!

DERRYN





Fark.


DICKO




Faaaark…

DERRYN


The two men overlap each other, and this becomes a sort of mating-call chorus. This lasts for about 20 seconds as they stare at the woman.
Finally it dies down, presumably as the woman walks away.

DICKO
(Shaking his head) I'd come before I got my pants off.



Ha.

DERRYN


DICKO
I'd fucken come before I even got my pants off. I'm tellin ya.

DERRYN
You'd fucken, only if you fucken, pictured a bloke. Then you'd fucken, come like a fucken, Japanese businessman at a school concert.

DICKO
(shaking his head)
Fark! That's… (laughing), yeah, that's fucked Derryn.

DERRYN
(grinning) You like that one?




That's, fuck.

DICKO
(shaking his head)


DERRYN
You gotta be careful of those noodle- niggers. They'll fucken getchya daughta.

DICKO
(serious)
Any fucking Japanese gets near me I'll fucken smash 'em.

Pause.

DERRYN
I hope there's some Japs in there.


They look out at something.


DICKO

I call shotgun on 'em if they're in there.




DERRYN
Mate, I won't be able to help meeself. I'll smash their heads in before I even know what I'm doing.

DICKO
(Sincerely) I mean it I fucken hate Japs.

DERRYN
I'll save you the Japs, but if there's any Chinks in there they're mine orright?



Right-o.

DICKO



Pause.


DERRYN
More likely to be a Chink in there these days. They're fucken taking over the world now. Doesn't matter what we do about fucken Global Warming or whatever does it?, the Chinks'll do fucken worse because they've got, fucken, a billion cunts living there! Not that, I don't believe in global warming. Loike… I believe in it but I don't, you know what I mean?




Yeah, I'm the same.

DICKO


DERRYN
I mean, I believe in pollution and all that, but it's all boolshit I reckon. It's the fucken government trying to rip us off again is what it is.



Yeah.

DICKO


DERRYN
Fucken, just get America to bomb the cunts I say.



Yeah.

DICKO


DERRYN
(getting worked up)
Just fucken bomb the fuck out of them! That'd solve the fucken problem, wouldn't it!

DICKO
Fucking oath it would.



DERRYN
Fucken, I should be our fucken Prime Minista.




Yeah.

DICKO
(laughing)


DERRYN
Fucken-Derryn-oh-fucken-seven!

Dicko laughs. Pause. They look out. They are looking at The Sunbury Commonwealth Bank.



What'setime?

DERRYN




About 5.

DICKO




Any minute now.

Both men are a little nervous.

DERRYN


DICKO
Can't wait for the cash, eh.

DERRYN
Yeah. I'm gonna get a fucken Ferrari straight off. That's the first thing. Then I'll go find a fucken women to root. Some nice fucken Hong-Kong mattress to hit.



Huh. Yeah.

DICKO


DERRYN
Then I reckon I'll take it easy for a bit. Might have a bit of a go in the share market. Cousin Mikey's a fucken investment banker or some shit. Did you know that? A fucken investment banker. You should see the shit he fucks. You wouldn't believe it. Would not believe it. Fine as a fucken Sydney summer's day. Tit's like Volvo airbags. She's got em up here all the time too (mimics a push up bra). (sincerely) I just want to fucken lick them every time I see them. He's a good bloke though. I'd still hit it if I had the chance, but I'd feel bad after. Hopefully he can take some of this money and put it in fucken Rio Tinto or something. Then I can buy a house in Toorak and fuck the posh bitches night and day. Nah actually, you know what? Fuck the old bitches during the day and their



daughters at night when they come back from school. Fucken that'd be the life eh?



Huh. Yeah.

DICKO


Pause. Dicko looks at Derryn, who is looking out at the bank. He looks back down at his hands.

DICKO (CONT'D)
Think I'll get out of Melbourne for a bit if it comes off.

DERRYN
Awww boooooool-shit.




What?

DICKO DERRYN

You fucken will not. You'll spend the money on Burger Rings and fucken massive rubber cocks.



Fuck off.

DICKO


DERRYN
Just tellin it like it is mate.

DICKO
What the fuck would you know?

DERRYN
Mate, you say this all the fucken time! (mimics him) Aw, I'm getting out this time. You're too much of a fucken pussy.



Fuck off I am.

DICKO


DERRYN
No wonder that bitch fucken left ya. You're a fucken disgrace!

DICKO
(expoding)
I am not a fucking disgrace you're a fucking disgrace! You, fuck, you're a fucken biggest fucken cunt-

Derryn stops fighting. He looks out the window, alerted.

DERRYN
Hey! They're here, dickhead!

Dicko looks out the window. It is an Armaguard truck.



Derryn checks his handgun. It's loaded and ready to go.

DERRYN
Come on faggot. Let's go. Let's fucken make our dreams come true.

Derryn steps out of the car and begins walking towards the truck.

Dicko stares at the Armaguard truck in despair. His fingers lie on his handgun, touching it nervously. He's come too far and he knows it.

Outside, Derryn motions with his hand.

Dicko looks at Derryn. He looks at the Armaguard. He can't move for shit. His fingers grip the gun like he's hanging on for dear life.



THE END

FADE TO BLACK.




This script is subject to Australian Copyright Laws, which protect all documents where authorship can be proven. Any unauthorized copying, plagiarism, adaptation, or distribution without consulting the owner is illegal and will not be tolerated.

© Richard Pettifer 2007

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