THE DEVIL'S SUBORDINATE
Short Film
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Nathan has spent the last few years of his life on autopilot, working for a company that, due to the mundane, uneventful atmosphere, bored him senseless. Recently he encountered a woman named Cassandra, who seduced him and later revealed that she's a demon that works for Satan. She's also the newest addition to Nathan's workplace. These events shook Nathan out of his hollow state of self-pity. Davis works with Nathan. He's the only other person who knows what Cassandra is. With effort, he convinces Nat to confess to a Priest about Cassandra, fearing Nathan will be denied Heaven should he continue a relationship with a servant of Satan. He's also looking for a laugh and imagines the outcome will be promising.
The Devil's Subordinate: The Confession
Screenplay by
Stephanie Kidson
INT. CHURCH – DAY 1
The scene opens in church. It is well lit and quiet; the mumblings of an elder woman praying are heard, and the footsteps of the Priest as he does meager chores around the building. He slouches as he walks, and is cradling a few hymn books in one hand, a broom in the other.
Davis enters through the front doors, pulling Nathan behind him by the arm, as Nat appears uncomfortable to be in the Church. Davis releases him and pauses to take in his surroundings.
DAVIS
Not bad, these places are rather fancy -
He sees Father Bourke hopping into the booth and his face lights up
DAVIS
Look Nat, the Priest is in the house!Looks like it's your lucky day!
NATHAN
Yeah, I guess so.
Davis nudges Nathan
DAVIS
Well, go on! Go over there, talk to him! Spill your guts, experience the relief that is - feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.
NATHAN
I don't know about this. He's won't take me seriously. And – wait, did you say 'a weight lift off your shoulders?' You pull that from a Hallmark card?
DAVIS
A fortune cookie, actually. Hey, such is the magic of confession!
NATHAN
There's no magic to confession, Davis. It's a handful of brainwashed fools who believe honesty is the path to forgiveness. Tell a priest your disobedience, and everything will be alright. Look at this place; the people whispering and lighting candles – the silence is so deafening I think it's muffling the outside world. I can't hear the traffic. This just doesn't feel natural.
DAVIS
Nathan, this is Church! Since when is religion natural?
NATHAN
To some, it's no different than the air we breathe; it's just highly toxic. Ironically it's that pollution the devout depend upon.
DAVIS
Sometimes I forget just how cynical you are.
NATHAN
I'm not cynical, I'm realistic. Call it what you want-
Davis interjects
DAVIS
Cynical
Nathan pauses before continuing
NATHAN
-but we're all hiding some dirty secret – how's telling some stranger going to give us passage to heaven?
DAVIS
That’s what I don’t understand: you know that Satan is real, thus believe that God must exist too. Yet, I had to convince you to come to Church, and here you stand berating the religion and its affairs. I'd have thought when you discovered what Cassandra is, you'd have sprinted to Church. Weren’t you scared?
NATHAN
Davis, I almost died of fright. But honestly, I see no point to this. What's telling a Priest about Cassandra going to do for me?
DAVIS
Think about it Nat, would God be impressed with your track record once you reach those pearly gates? You do want entrance to heaven, right? But if this guy can't help you, maybe you can give him some information about Angels and Demons. Or just demons. Who knows, he might be grateful.
NATHAN
You don't suppose he'll kick me out? Or tell me to stop wasting his time, start ranting: “The Catholic Church has no room for jokers,” something like that?
I'll probably end up in a straightjacket, riding an ambulance to the asylum. That, or Father here might attempt to exorcise me.
DAVIS
Boy, I can't wait to see the look on his face!
NATHAN
I knew it. You're doing this for a joke. You couldn't care less what my outcome for the afterlife is. Screw this, I've better things to do.
DAVIS
No, don't leave, hear me out! Look, I can admit there's hardly any skeletons in your closet, but I'm pretty sure a relationship with a demon probably encompasses some sort of sin.
Would heaven accept a man that dated the Devil's subordinate? Could God say yes? Wait, that's a thought, what if those circumstances were turned on Satan? Say some serial killer met an angel, would that means he’d be spared an eternity of torture ? So if demons will deny you heaven, angels will save you from hell?
NATHAN
I doubt that; Satan would take anyone that comes to his door.
DAVIS
Don’t be so sure buddy; there's lots of people in this world. After thousands of years, The Devil might get picky.
NATHAN
Sure, Satan has preference over who receives the most horrendous punishment. Are you saying not everyone should suffer the same fate? Could you imagine someone spat out of hell?
DAVIS
Everyone’s a sinner!
NATHAN
And if we sin, we’re sent to hell. So if everyone’s a screwball and we’re all doomed, why am I even here to begin with? You know I don't want to do this, so I shan't even bother.
DAVIS
Come on, Nat, if you tell the Priest he may know some sort of loophole for you. Or maybe some advice.
NATHAN
Advice? With what – my relationship? I don't need his advice for that. Priests know nothing of relationships.
DAVIS
No kidding. But, why shouldn't he believe you? I mean, I do -
NATHAN
But you've seen Cassandra. You know the truth.
DAVIS
Okay, I realise that, but this guy is a Priest, which means he's devoted his life to faith. To beliefs in a power that no one can prove exists. If he really follows all that “The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit” bullshit then why shouldn't demons be plausible?
There's mention of Satan in the Bible, right? And don't forget the psychotic Devil-worshippers that engage in freaky rituals to sell their souls.
See what I'm saying? Either for good or evil, people believe in something. That guy over there swore himself to God, so who's to say he shouldn't believe you? Or at least listen to you? Just give it a try.
NATHAN
Fine.
DAVIS
Excellent!!
Nathan walks over to The Confessional. He turns to look at Davis who signals an enthusiastic thumbs up. Sighing and shaking his head, Nathan steps into the booth.
NATHAN
Okay, how do I start? Oh – Bless me Father for I have sinned. That's what I'm meant to say, right?
FATHER
Traditionally. Not everyone chooses to say it, although I think sometimes they forget.
NATHAN
So, people just come in here, pour out their hearts to you, then walk out feeling clean?
FATHER
The purpose of confession is for people to experience God's mercy and appreciate living in the light of The Lord's forgiveness.
NATHAN
In other words, 'yes?' It's all too simple. I just don't understand the structure of confession. Why should people who 'sin' on a regular basis believe if they come here every week and tell you their mistakes, they'll be forgiven? If the same people keep coming back, then they don't regret their mistakes at all! They continue to screw up, perhaps on purpose, and they don't really care either! This 'ritual' you offer is a pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.
FATHER
It's not as simple as a 'deal.' The confession doesn't serve as a contract for those who choose the path of sin.
NATHAN
But don't you wonder if people treat it that way? Have you ever recognised someone because they keep reeling off the same list of sins, to the point where you could recite it for them?
FATHER
That...has occurred.
NATHAN
I knew it! It's so easy for you religious guys – you delude yourself into believing that passage to heaven is as simple as confessing.
It's like saying: “Oh no, I crushed that Granny with the Mercedes I stole from my girlfriend's husband. Quite a dilemma. Wait! I can go into confession - I'll tell a priest I messed up, all will be forgiven and my ticket to a blissful afterlife is secure.
“Until then, I'll keep stealing what I want, screw married chicks and send as many crippled elderly into orbit!”
FATHER
Sir, did you come to confess, or berate the religion which is my purpose? It appears your faith is stinted.
NATHAN
My faith isn't stinted; the religion is flawed.
FATHER
If that's what you think, but remember: people come in by their choice. They make an effort to right the wrongs, even if it's only a small one. These people acknowledge their mistakes. The world is poisoned with liars, but a scarce few will be honest with themselves once in a while.
NATHAN
I see. Sorry, I hadn't meant -
FATHER
It's alright. I've seen worse. So, did you have something to confess?
NATHAN
Oh yes, I did. Well, I can see you appreciate honesty, so I'll cut to the chase. Mind you, it'll shock you.
...I'm going out with a demon.
There is a long silence in which Father Bourke simply stares at Nathan, until he blinks and then speaks.
FATHER
I'm sorry?
Nathan laughs
NATHAN
This is what I was afraid of. I doubt I could convince you, I don't have any...evidence, but if you'd let me explain. I met this woman through work – at the office party. And well – one thing led to another, and I found myself being literally dragged into her house.
Anyway, I found out that she's not human – she's a demon. Yeah. A monster that rose out of hell. Oh and, she works for The Devil. She's actually his favorite employee.
And I just happen to be dating her. That didn't come as a shock, did it?
FATHER
A...demon?
NATHAN
Yeah. Her name's Cassandra! She's really pretty. If she finds out I confessed today, I'll be in trouble!
FATHER
So, that's what you wanted to tell me?
NATHAN
Yes. My friend feared there might be a sin in there so convinced me to get it off my chest.
FATHER
Very well.
Clears his throat
I am very glad you came here today. You made the right decision to tell me your dilemma. Many joke of the existence of Angels and Demons, but I assure you, what you speak of is no laughing matter. If you are being truthful, then I advise you to exercise great precaution. All demons are dangerous, no matter what their intentions.
NATHAN
Wait - relax, Cassandra's great to me. She's not a dilemma, we're just going out.
FATHER
But can you be sure? I can't believe this is happening. I've waited for this such a long time.
NATHAN
...what are you talking about?
FATHER
This may suprise you, but although I am a priest, I've a secret occupation of demon hunting.
NATHAN
Sorry? You say you've sighted and hunted demons before?
FATHER
Oh no, never. But I've been reading Constantine half my life, and if he's a mere fabrication, then someone must be fighting the evil that plagues this Earth. I've been developing instruments for such tasks. Your confession surely must be a sign from above! I can assist you to remove the creature. This is why you came, is it not?
Nathan now appears disturbed
NATHAN
Listen, you've got it all wrong. I'm not here to summon you to exterminate my girlfriend, I just wanted to confess!
Actually, I didn't want to do that either; my idiotic best friend thought -
FATHER
Don't worry – I know what I speak of. I have weapons I must show you – wait here, I'll be right back!
Father Bourke leaps from the booth and runs out one of the doors to the side of the Church. Davis watches him leave, somewhat confused. The door of the booth that Nathan is sat behind slowly opens, but Nathan merely sits there, staring at Davis.
DAVIS
What happened in there? I didn't imagine his reaction would be that dramatic.
NATHAN
Davis, why is it that of all the priests in town, the one I told about my demonic girlfriend believes he's living in a comic book? I think I almost feel sorry for him.
DAVIS
Time to leave?
NATHAN
Absolutely.
The two men glance at the door that the priest disappeared through, before Nathan leaps from his seat and bolts for the door.
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