ONE COSY WINTERS NIGHT

by Maryanne Paterson

Short Film
Email: [email protected]

How much damage can one man do while babysitting two small children during a black out? Evidently a lot... Aprox 6 mins Comedy

1. EXT – NICE HOUSE – NIGHT      1.

Steps lead to the front door of a beautiful apartment building.  We see a man, James step onto the first step.  His foot slips on the ice, then the other foot slips on the ice.  He awkwardly manages to gain control of both feet when suddenly they both slip together in opposite directions and completely apart.  We see him do the splits and his balls hit the first step with a thud.

    JAMES
   (Painful groan)
AW…

He falls forward clutching his private parts with both hands.  His beard and chin hit the icy step.  When he tries to get up his beard is frozen to the step, four up from where his private parts are resting.  We see him slowly pull and pull but his beard is frozen to the step.  We see him bend his knees and put his bottom high into the air.   He removes his gloved hands from his crutch and places them on the step below his frozen beard, and with a quick yank he pulls his beard free, leaving some of the beard stuck to the step.  We see him try and lift his hands but again then his gloves are stuck.  Carefully he removes his hands from the gloves.  We see the gloves still stuck to one step and part of his beard stuck to another.  He looks at the stairs and scratches his head then takes off his scarf and places it on the step and walks up the scarf to the front door with ease.
Once inside he knocks on the first door to the right.  A woman opens the door.

    CANDY
  James…

She hugs her brother tightly and drags him inside.  He is covered in snow and his beard is frosty.

2.  INT – ENTRANCE – NIGHT      2.

    JAMES
Hey sis, wow look at this place.

Candy’s husband walks into the entrance from the living room.

 


    ROBERT
  James, good to see ya,
   (looks around)
nice hey?
   (yells)
  Kids, Uncle James is here.

We see two small children. Cindy and David run toward him.  They jump into his arms and hug him tightly.

    JAMES
   Munchkins.

    ROBERT
Thanks for this; we’ll only be half an hour.

Robert reaches for Candy’s coat and places it over her shoulders he than puts his own on.  Candy squats down to become eye level with her children.

    CANDY
Now you be good for Uncle James, we wont be long.

She hugs the children.

    ROBERT
Don’t worry about tucking the kids in; we’ll do it when we get back.  Half an hour tops.

Candy opens the door and steps out side.  She opens the door to outside and we follow her as she steps through.

    JAMES
Hey sis be careful down those stairs they’re icy.

Candy looks back and we see her disappear out of site as she slips down the stairs.  A voice is heard from beyond.  Robert rushes after her.

    CANDY (V.O.)
  I’m ok, I’m ok.

James shakes his head and closes the door.  We see Robert looking at the Beard, the gloves and scarf still on the steps.  He scratches his head and puts a confused look on his face.

3. INT – LIVING AREA – NIGHT     3.

James looks at the exquisite room with it’s immaculate furniture and two small children playing with their cars and squeaky toys and dolls.

    JAMES
  So what ya doin guys.

    DAVID
  Playing.

    JAMES
I can see that, but what are ya playing?

Cindy gives James a doll.

    CINDY
  My dolly wants a kiss.

James looks at the doll and attempts to kiss it when Cindy squeezes the dolls Belly and squirts water into James’s face.  Cindy laughs as James splutters and grabs the two children around the waist.

    JAMES
I’m the big bad troll and I’m gonna eat these little yummy children in my big fat tummy tummy tummy.

The children laugh hysterically.  Then suddenly the lights go out.  They stop still.

    CINDY
Uncle James, where did the light go?

    JAMES
Don’t know Cindy, maybe the evil monster ate it.

  DAVID
It’s a black out Uncle James, the evil monster can’t eat light or he will get elec… elect… electricitised.

We see them go to the window and look out.

    JAMES
  Yep it’s a blackout.

    DAVID
It might be a fuge.
(Fuge is intentional mispronunciation)

    JAMES
No cause our, fuges,
(Intentional mispronunciation)
don’t run the street lights.  You got a torch?

    CINDY
  In the box.

    JAMES
  Any candles?

    DAVID
  On the alcoholic shelf.

    JAMES
Oh, the alcoholic shelf, where’s that?

The children point in the dark to the bar.  We vaguely see the candles in the holders on the bar.  James walks over to the bar and feels around for a box of matches.  He lights one of the candles.  The room is slightly lit up.  We see James and the children as they make their way to the centre of the room. 

    CINDY
  I scared.

James takes the opportunity to play a joke and puts the candle under his chin to light up his face, imitating a scene from Blair Witch Project.

    JAMES
   (whisper)
  I’m so scared, I’m so scared.

Suddenly Cindy screams as we see James’s beard catch alight.  James drops the candle and holder and smacks his face.  The candle and holder land upright on the floor, still alight.  We see David grab a towel off the bar and hit James in the face with it.  The towel also catches alight.  James’s beard is out and GONE, but when David realises the towel is alight he throws it OVER HIS SHOULDER hitting the lace curtain on the window behind him.  The curtain quickly engulfs in flames.  James runs toward the window but suddenly we see him slip backward on a toy car.  We see his feet fly into the air.  His head hits a squeaky doll as his body hits the ground with a thud.  The doll lets out a loud squeaky cry and James lets out a dull agonising groan.

    CINDY
  Fire, fire Uncle James.

James leaps up and yanks the curtains from the window.  He throws them on the ground and stomps on them.  As he stomps he grabs a tall lamp for balance but the lamp falls over knocking into a vase which in turn flies across the room hitting another tall lamp which falls over onto the row of bourbon, scotch and rum bottles on the alcoholic shelf which then like a dominos fall, smashing one after the other.  The last bottle doesn’t fall straight away.  It sways back and forth then topples to the ground and smashes.

    DAVID
Aw…That’s dads alcoholic shelf, he’s not gonna be happy.

    JAMES
  No, don’t expect he will.

James moves to the couch and sits down.  The candle is still burning in its holder on the floor.  James picks it up and puts it on the coffee table.  Cindy picks up a box from the floor.  It reads ‘Dolls First Aid Kit”

    CINDY
  Can I fix your furry chin?

    JAMES
  Yeah.

Just as Cindy is fixing James’s furry chin the lights come back on and we see what damage has been done.  The living area of the apartment is a mess, with smashed glass, a broken vase and lamps and charred debris over the floor and rug. 
The front door handle turns.  We see the children’s parents walk in and gasp.
We then see James turn and we see the result of the medical attention Cindy has administered.  His chin, nose and cheeks are covered with sesame street bandaids. 

    CINDY
   (Points at James)
  Uncle James did it.

James is speechless.

                       THE END

 

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